


Paracusia

by ruruie



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Choking, Dom/sub, F/M, Hair-pulling, I mean it's holo sex but, Masturbation, Mirror Sex, Pegging, Phone Sex, Praise Kink, Restraints, Semi-Public Sex, Spit Kink, Unhealthy Relationships, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Wall Sex, Window Sex, boot kink, brat taming, chapter 7 is the forbidden Johnny pegging fic that I have been cursed with visions of, cum kink, johnny unlocked the secret emotion within me of tender love and filth, pain play, super toxic shit in chapter 6, tags to be added as i update this, these are hella explicit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:27:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28180887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruruie/pseuds/ruruie
Summary: A series of V and Johnny one-shots based off of songs that fit the vibe, all NSFW.
Relationships: Johnny Silverhand/Female V
Comments: 50
Kudos: 323





	1. Closer

**Author's Note:**

> Based on: Closer - Nine Inch Nails
> 
> Contents: choking, spit kink, slight cum kink, religious references during sexual acts, mild degradation

God had left the city a long, long time ago, allowing the heathens to run rampant. Religion had no real place here, even though people still adhered to some. In reality, the forefathers of a bygone age would look at this city and weep tears for its residents, certain their souls, no matter how pious the person, would never be saved. 

Too bad they couldn’t see what Johnny was looking at. 

Hands on her throat, V’s mouth open and drool running down the sides, the rough sound of skin slapping skin echoing in his ears. Her eyes were rolled back, lewd noises coming from her mouth, his own grunting mingling with the rest of the sounds. Everything sounded so dirty, a rough fuck where one party didn’t know the others name, meeting up in a back alley to fuck and wipe their hands of the situation. She sounded like a whore and he sounded like a disgusting buyer, so lost in the fact that he could do anything. 

But no, he knew her name. Knew her everything, and she knew his. In a bit he’d feel it all, too. The sensation of his hands around his own throat, latent from him choking her enough so that she struggled to breathe, even make those holy noises, but not enough to cut off air. Feel a type of phantom fucking, both of his orgasm and hers. Her fingers were down below, holding a vibrator to her clit, all on Johnny’s orders. She never questioned it, just followed the orders. If piety meant obedience, then V was his most loyal follower, a god to some of the people of this city. 

And if he wasn’t a god himself, burying himself deep inside V made him feel like he was close to one. Touching the gates of the immortal world. In a way he was already, his whole being encoded on a chip, never to die, but it didn’t feel like anything. This, right here, made him holy. 

“What a dirty fucking whore you are, V. Taking me so well. Let me do anything to you, yeah?” Her legs were propped up against his shoulders, slung over and hung like a rag doll. Her body lithe and limp under him, lost in the pleasure. Even her nod was weak, her eyes locking on him as he spoke, blown wide and lost. That image right there would be burned into his head forever, and he’d pray to it nightly. 

“Good girl. Now, swallow.” Johnny spit into her mouth, slowly, letting it drip into her open lips. He watched with intensity as she swallowed best she could, feeling her throat move under his hands. Smirking, he squeezed her throat a little tighter, the choking sound she let out fueling the fire within him further. Spitting on her face this time, he watched it roll down her cheek, her loud moan stirring up things inside him he didn’t think he could feel. Love, adoration, devotion, the need to cherish and praise her, but also the desire to use, corrupt, and then absolve. 

Hit with a wave of sensation, he lost himself again. His own throat felt tight, choked, finally registering what V was feeling now. Her first orgasm hit him as well, making him feel like his whole body was dying, not questioning why the French called the orgasm the little death. Nerves fried, brain dead, he kept on, mindlessly fucking into her, not caring much about his pace. She had her vibrator, and its purpose was to pick up the slack when he started to slip. It was so different now. He felt the pleasure from two people, and it made him unable to keep up and pleasure his partner in the same way he used to. No longer able to focus on the world around him, his brain just fogged over with the sheer desire to chase an ever closer orgasm. Maybe this is what V was feeling all the time, such intensity that consumed her entire being. A prayer on her lips that never fully formed before it was answered; a never ending gift from the gods. 

Johnny was such a loud man when he came, and this time was no exception. His airflow was restricted, his own hands choking himself, his mouth hanging open, no buffer to muffle his strangled groan as he spilled inside her. From experience he knew that there would be no evidence of it later, but when he pulled out, for a brief moment, cum would leak out and he could marvel at it like he used to do. It still felt the same, and he knew V felt it too. That was certainly enough. 

Removing his hands from her neck, he was panting hard, but he still kept it together enough to wipe off V’s face, covered in sweat and spit, kissing her all over. So gentle with her now that she was in this fragile state. She was even more pliable now, moving wherever he guided, and so he used that to his advantage to reward his loyal follower. Johnny wrapped her in his arms, softly rubbing any sore spots she had, making sure to avoid her now tender neck, finally knowing what it felt like to be choked. For that spot, he just kissed softly, whispering into her skin how wonderful she was. How perfect, how beautiful. 

How close she brought him to God.


	2. Satellite Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on: Satellite Mind - Metric 
> 
> Contents: masturbation

The day had been a rough one. Dealing with the Voodoo Boys was bad enough, having to play into their little game, getting herself fucking fried for them, only to come crawling back in hopes of being able to be helped. As much as she wanted to rat them out to Netwatch, get back at them for fucking her over harder than her ex, she couldn’t stomach the thought of working for them either. So, she was brought into the chapel, submerged in ice, and brought into the world of data. 

In order to contact Alt she had to relive part of Johnny’s life for the sole purpose of convincing what was essentially her AI that she and Johnny were one. And it was painful as hell. Watching Johnny kill himself slowly with drugs, alcohol, and rock and roll was bad enough, but the despair and anguish she felt when he saw Alt’s lifeless body was just terrible. Her heart broke, and all she wanted to do was lie down in her bed, rest for a bit, then continue on. Fix this terrible, horrible mess.

Johnny was feeling like shit too. V felt it deep in her bones, settling into the deepest regions of her body. Having to go through all that again and see Alt in the state she was was just...Fuck it was so, so, so bad. They had their little chat as she left the chapel, reeling from a Relic malfunction, but that was it. The rest of the day they didn’t speak much, and when they did it wasn’t anything of substance. 

Crawling in bed, V couldn’t help but replay everything over again, trying to process what she just saw and compartmentalize it all, separate from her own being. These memories weren’t hers, but they felt like it, and she needed to keep a grasp on her own being. 

“Hey, Johnny. I’m gonna take some Omega Blockers, alright? Nothing personal, but things are just...a little much right now. That okay?” It felt weird asking his permission, like he was an equal party to her, but in a way he was equal to her. A friend who was hurting. But that hurt also hurt her, and she needed to recover first before she tackled his own emotions. 

“Sure, whatever. Really itchin’ that bad to get rid of me?” His feelings were clearly hurt, but she got the okay for the moment. She’d deal with his own mood in a bit. Taking the pills, she settled back in the bed, eyes closed and waiting for Johnny’s voice and presence to quiet down. When there was just static, nothing clear coming in, she let her mind wander. Floating from memory to memory. Arasaka Tower to his spat with Kerry. Watching Alt be kidnapped, his disembowelment, and then to Alt’s death. She put them away, packed them up neat and tidy, telling herself that those weren’t her memories, that they weren’t hers to get over and deal with. That was Johnny’s problem. Her goal was to better help him, convince him that he could rectify his mistakes, especially with Rogue, someone she knew was still alive. 

But one memory was tugging at her the most. Unable to be fit in a box and hidden away. Remembering it made her shiver, her thighs clenching and rubbing together, but also it was probably the most painful one of all. Watching Johnny make love to Alt, full of drug-dulled passion that throbbed and beat at his chest, only quenched when he dipped between her thighs or thrust into her. He really fucking loved her, and he never properly expressed it, letting her slip through his fingers. V was also jealous, wishing she was there in Alt’s place, Johnny making love to her instead. 

It was only when Johnny couldn’t listen in, when she took the pills, that she dwelled on her little crush. Lucky for her everything was going at breakneck speed in her life, and she didn’t think about it much when Johnny was there, but every now and then she’d glance at him, gaze lingered as he spoke. There was something so hypnotizing about him, charisma flowed through his veins, and she couldn’t help but think that once someone was under his spell it was hard to break. Probably why Rogue stayed with him through all the shit he implied he put her through. 

The scene played again, and she was jealous once more, but so fucking turned on. Everything was like listening through the walls, hearing your neighbors fuck, but this time it was all in her head. And it involved a person that wasn’t real, but she wanted so badly. Horny brain switching on, V bit her lip, not wanting to make any noise, not wanting Johnny to hear. Not like he couldn’t if he wanted to, sneaking into her mind, but she didn’t want to raise the alarm. 

Fingers nimbly rolled up her shirt, pulled down the cups of her bra, freeing her breasts. Rubbing her own nipples wasn’t as pleasurable as someone else doing the job, but imagining Johnny doing so was good enough to make her breathe heavier. She could just imagine him saying something about her breasts, now nice they were or how lucky she was to have a rock star like him play with her, and it made her grow wetter and wetter. 

She imagined being flipped over by Johnny, just as he had done to Alt, hands gripping her wrists to keep her there while he had his way with her. Pausing her fantasy, she stripped her pants off, frantically searching for the little stash of toys she kept. Finding the box, she pulled out her favorite toy, a Rabbit vibrator that was almost as good as the real thing. Turning it on, she mentally resumed play. 

This time she imagined herself as Alt, Johnny’s mind eye being warped to her own body, those praises and compliments being directed her way. His fingers were toying with her, and as she inserted the toy her lips quivered, moaning out a soft “Johnny, please” as the toy made her lift her hips up to get a better angle. She fucked herself with it, her free hand still on a nipple, tugging and rubbing interchangeably. The toy was making quick work of her, pressure building and threatening to snap soon. 

“Fuck, Johnny...” Her voice was still soft, not wanting to rouse suspicion, but she wanted him to damn badly. Those thick fingers inside her, only to be pulled out and replaced by his cock, fucked relentlessly over and over again. Her arm strained to keep the toy going in and out, the little vibrating bit at the top brushing over her clit again and again. Unable to hold it in, she let out a moan, her toes beginning to curl in, pleasure spreading across her lower body. 

Coil snapping, let out a long breath, flopping back and turning off the toy. She let herself linger there, orgasm still waving through her, making her feel lazy. In this state she imagined that it was her hand Johnny was holding in post-coital bliss. Fingers laced together.

Crushing on a ghost was rough as hell. 

Putting her pants back on, she waited for Johnny to return, probably going to snap at her for banishing him again. But she’d be more than happy to take the bullshit, able to let herself be free for just a moment to indulge in a dirty pleasure.


	3. Shut Me Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on: Shut Me Up - Mindless Self Indulgence 
> 
> Contents: dom/sub dynamics, hair pulling, choking with fingers, boot kink, brat taming, pain play, cigarettes, Johnny's leather pants
> 
> **This might be the dirtiest thing I have written so far aldsjsldkfjsdkfjsd**

V supposed that this was probably one of the weirder, and simultaneously least weird requests an escort ever got. Tie her to a chair and leave. She paid the normal rate of course, and it only took about 10 minutes for V to strip, sit down, and have both hands and ankles strapped to the chair. The rope used was a real nice brand, not going to leave any marks on her body. And, given her line of work, she could easily slip out of the knots when she was done. 

Not like she could do this without any help anyway. Kind of impossible for one to tie themselves to a piece of furniture all the way. And that was the goal after all. Not like her partner could do it either, not having the ability to really tie her to the chair or interact with anything in the material world, just her body. They tried once, and it just didn’t work. Johnny couldn’t materialize the rope, V couldn’t tie her other hand, and pretending to be restrained was impossible. 

Propositioning an escort to do this was just the easiest option. Maybe, if she pushed a little, Judy might have done this for her free of charge, knowing about Johnny’s existence, but V felt weird as hell asking a friend to help. She thanked the confused girl before she left, leaving her there in an empty room for a minute. 

V just wanted to not have to think right now. So much shit going on around her, going on inside her, that she just wanted to let go for a bit, allow herself to slip into a space separate from all of that. Something only possible because of said events that she wanted to escape. The dual nature of it wasn’t lost on her, but she chose to ignore it now. Wanting nothing to do with it, only everything to do with what was about to happen to her. 

Her eyes widened momentarily and her lips curved up into a smirk when Johnny glitched into existence, shirtless but still in his boots and leather pants. Aviators still donned his face and his dog tags hung from his neck, something about those additions made V squirm, goosebumps forming as she waited for him to say something, anything. 

“Safe word?” Johnny’s voice was barely above a whisper, but it broke her anticipation enough to make her smile. Sure, he could feel if she wanted him to stop, but the consideration and use of one was oddly sweet. 

“Afterlife. And don’t worry, Johnny, you know my limits and I’ll let ya know if you’ve crossed them.” He walked over and put a hand to her cheek, and she leaned into his touch, smiling still as he stroked her cheek. 

“Ropes not too tight?” She could see his eyes through the glasses and he was scanning her body, making sure she was completely comfortable. Though his eyes did linger on her naked body, legs spread from the fact that her ankles had to spread apart to be tied up. 

“Nah, everything’s fine. I’ll slip out when we’re done. Even got myself a bubble bath ready for when I’m done. Gotta love technology, man. Keeps the water just right for hours. So you’re free to do whatever for as long as ya want.” V flicked her eyes to the bathroom, knowing after care was important given what Johnny was about to do to her. When she wanted to let go he was more than willing to oblige, probably needing a bit of release as well. 

“Alright. If you need help, anything, let me know. Ready?” V nodded, turning her head to kiss the palm still rested on her cheek, and in turn Johnny leaned down to kiss the opposite cheek, probably the last tender act for a while. 

Lips were replaced by a slap, one hard enough where the hand he still had on her face was needed to keep her head from whipping uncomfortably. V gasped, shocked for a moment, before she spit on the ground, the act making her mouth fill up with saliva. Her lips pulled back to show her teeth, glaring up at the man who caused her pain, body quivering again with that anticipation. She loved this game, where he slapped her around and she fought back. It was certainly her favorite, and Johnny didn’t seem to complain either. 

“The fuck was that!? Little rough, don’t ya think!?” 

Johnny laughed, removing the hand from her cheek, using it to slap the same cheek that it once held lovingly. This time it was his metal hand, and the sting was even worse, making her cry out.

“You thought that first one was rough, bitch? Ha! Hope that second one put you in your place.” 

She spit again, this time on his boot. A deliberate action, knowing it was going to warrant punishment. V was feeling extra bratty this time, the world pissing her off way too much for her to be pliant and obedient. 

“Actually, I don’t think it did, you fucking prick. You hit like a little bitch.” The last word came out with so much venom that even she thought it might have been too far. But no. She was wrong. Excitement rushed through her, and she knew it was not her own she was feeling. Johnny was looking down at his boot, picking up the foot and waving it in front of him. 

“Tsk, tsk V. These were fucking expensive. Gonna need to be cleaned.” The foot raised up landing squarely on her chest, pressing down enough to push her back against the chair, threatening to tip it over. Johnny let up the pressure only a little, just so everything wouldn’t be ruined by her being thrown to the floor. Leaning forward, Johnny materialized a cigarette, putting it to his lips before blowing the smoke in V’s face. The digitized smoke lingered on her face, filling her nostrils with the illusion of the smell, making her roll her eyes back. She found herself lingering in the streets of Night City a little longer than usual now, smelling the smoke, trying to get closer to something tangible to make her believe Johnny was physically there. 

He tapped the cigarette, ashes falling to the boot as well, before he puffed it again and blew more smoke in her face, soft moan following it. A metal hand jerked to grab her jaw, her mouth falling open with her tongue, the action pulling her face forward a little. The other hand went to the back of her head, pushing it down uncomfortably so that her tongue was touching the boot. Jaw still held tight, Johnny moved her head so that she licked up the mess, a mix of spit and ash that flicked away in a glitch when she lapped it up. The taste didn’t linger on her tongue at all. 

“Puttin' that pretty, little mouth to good use. Can’t give me fuckin' lip if you can’t talk.” He let go of her jaw, other hand still pushing her head down, but V took the chance to mouth off. “Sorry, don’t really feel like bein' a filthy boot licker. If I wanted to be one I'd call up River and let him do this to me instead.” 

Anger and jealousy stirred in the room, and Johnny’s response wasn’t verbal. Instead he gripped her hair, pulling it back and making her wince, face grimacing from the harsh feeling. But that wasn’t the end of it. Taking the lit cigarette he put it out on the flesh of her right breast, an inch above the nipple. V cried out, tears pricking at eyes that slammed shut, pain and pleasure mixing wonderfully. 

“If I ever,” he pulled her hair, forcing her head back, “hear that name again you’ll pay for it, ya hear!? I’m the only man for you V. Ruined you. Made you mine. Think River could ever make you feel like this?”

Pulling at the restraints she wanted so desperately to punch and pull at Johnny, make him release her hair, but she couldn’t. All she could do was wiggle and fill her veins with poison, drunk off the feeling of needing to be tamed and so very much fighting against it. 

“Maybe he could! Any cheap joytoy could pull my hair, make me scream. Hell, most of ‘em are smokers too. What can you do that they can’t, huh?” She tried her best to smirk up at him, bait him further, but she was still fighting the pain of having her hair being pulled. Her voice betrayed her the worst, shaky and oh so slick with desire. Much like the pooling heat between her legs. 

“Oh, I can think of one thing, but that’ll be for later. If you’ve earned it. Right now,” the boot lifted from her chest, set back down on the floor as he leaned over her, hands running up and down her sides, stopping when they got to her breasts, palming and kneading them. V moaned into the action, arching her back and letting him play with her, small noises replacing moans as he roughly pinched her nipples, pulling at them. It really was a damn shame Johnny couldn’t play with toys, make this a little more interesting, but he was skilled enough with his hands and resourceful enough to make things happen. 

“Right now, you’re all mine. Ain’t no one else gonna see you this fucked up. Sloppy as hell. A damn puddle forming on the chair, V.” She wanted to reply, but when she opened her mouth two thick fingers were shoved inside, making her gag slightly. Recovering, V swirled her tongue around them, briefly giving in before closing her teeth around them, biting down only hard enough to leave marks but not hurt. That was all it took to make Johnny shove them further down her throat, making her swallow thickly to keep from drooling all over the place. Sucking the fingers obediently, he moved them back a little, allowing her room to breathe. 

“Now was that so hard?” Her glare was answer enough to him, seeing she was not full there yet, and could be pushed a little farther. Just a little more. 

“Guess it is. Fuckin' shame. I was getting these fingers ready to stick in you, but fuck it! Wanna play hardball? I’ll play.” A boot was raised once more, its landing place between her legs. Moving it up, the toe of his boot rested softly on her cunt, pressing down on her clit. V rolled her hips, lips fully closing around the fingers in her mouth. Her mind switched into focusing on her release, wanting nothing more than to get it. She was gone. Only thing she wanted now was for Johnny to use her, give her something that would allow her to come. 

His fingers left her mouth, his other hand unzipping his pants. V continued to try and get a little friction, grinding against the boot, the tread at just the right spot to give her what she needed. It was rough, almost painful, but she loved it. Absolutely perfect. 

Johnny’s slick hand gripped his now released cock, the wet sound making V zero in on it. A hoarse voice asked “can I suck it, please?” and Johnny just laughed at the request. 

“No, V. You can’t. Just gotta watch me. Shoulda been a better girl. Coulda gotten somethin' other than the weak orgasm you’re gonna get from my boot.” V groaned, an exaggerated groan, shaking against the chair trying to get out of the rope and get herself off as well. It was starting to make her core burn, muscles working over time to make up for the fact Johnny was just lazily stroking himself, watching her struggle. But all that was quickly forgotten, the small, faint pressure building within her. Rubbing and bucking against the boot, she managed a rather rough orgasm, nothing like the ones she got when Johnny was working his magic. 

Head thrown back, she grit her teeth as Johnny pressed the boot down harder once he realized she had come, not allowing her to ride out her orgasm, letting it fade away without any crescendo. V cried out again, so frustrated and needy. Johnny must have felt some semblance of pity, removing the boot and pulling her into a heated kiss, his lips biting and sucking on hers. It reignited the fire again, making her want more, but knowing she couldn’t put up much of a fight. When he pulled away, V looked into his eyes, pleading with him. 

“I need it so fucking bad, Johnny. Please, give me something?” His lips ghosted down her neck, sucking right at the junction of her shoulder, only for teeth to sink into the flesh, that glorious pain blooming once again. V moaned like a cheap joytoy, shivering as Johnny moved down her body, gasping when he settled between her legs. He was still lazily pumping himself, head rested on her thigh. Kissing the skin, she was waiting for his next move, what would come from his mouth. 

“Such a needy bitch. Fine, I’ll give you something. But only ‘cause you begged so nicely for me.” Small bites to her thighs left a bread crumb trail to her core, head swirling as Johnny began lapping at her. His tongue worked wonders, focusing solely on her clit, not really teasing her, only giving her what she needed. It felt so much better than his boot, and watching him play her like a guitar shut her up quick, reducing her to just noises and body movement. 

Already so worked up, wanting a real sense of release, she came hard and fast, body curling in on itself and tugging at the ropes holding her down. Johnny didn’t linger between her legs either, rising up and still jerking himself off, grunting as he spurted cum all over V’s chest, both spent now. 

It wasn’t quite the long session she had hoped for, but fuck, was it nice. Her mind was reduced to mush, unable to think, only feel the stinging after effects of Johnny’s work. A warm hand cupped her cheek and her head just lulled into it, ending as it began. 

“Babe, you alright? Need a minute?” V nodded, happy that Johnny just held his hand there so that she could rest. Trying to move her arms reminded her that she was still tied to a chair and had to take care of that. Sighing, she rolled her shoulder, loosening her joints, moving so that she could slip through the knots in the rope with expertise. Merc work had its benefits, and this was certainly one. 

The trek to the bathroom was tough, her legs feeling like jelly and core aching, but she made it. Slipping into the tub, she sighed as the hot water relaxed her muscles and eased everything but her sore face. There was no way she was dipping below the surface, though, opting to just sit there, chin resting on pulled up knees. 

Legs that weren’t her own, but still belonged to her, appeared beside her, head turning lazily to look behind her to see Johnny, naked as the day he was born in the bath with her. His hands rubbed her back, helping soothe her more. Those same hands moved to massage her jaw, undoing all the work he just did. Neither spoke, just relished in these soft moments that only came from pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last night my friend said that Johnny could beat the shit out of me and I'd thank him. She was right.


	4. Love is as Good as Soma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on: Love is as Good as Soma - Tiamat (I went through a haaaard goth phase, and man this band was a huge part of it).
> 
> Contents: sex is vanilla, but the relationship is unhealthy and codependent.

“V, you have to take something to stop Johnny from taking over you. I know you don’t want to, but shit, kid, you’re about to sink this ship. And you’re doing it so fast that I don’t think anyone can be saved.” Vik looked at the poor girl with a soft, somber expression. He truly cared for her, and she was in a horrible amount of pain. Everything about having the Relic inside her was a recipe for disaster. Especially her reasoning for why she refused to take anything to stop his take over. 

“Vik...Isn’t there anything else I could do? Keep me goin’ just a little longer? I don’t want him gone, but I don’t wanna go either. Like, fuck...If I have to live I have to basically banish him?” Pain tinted her voice, and she couldn’t meet the gaze of the ripperdoc. Not when he was watching her kill herself all for the sake of a fabricated personality construct. 

He sighed, leaning back in his chair, eyes fixed to the ceiling. “I could give you pain meds, make it easier on ya, but that won’t slow it down. Are you even close to solving anything?” 

“I dunno. Maybe? There’s a plan, but it’s anyone’s guess if it’ll work. I’m gonna try. Fuck...” V needed time. She needed something. But not hearing Johnny? Not having him there by her side? Nah, that’s not gonna cut it. “Skip the pain killers. They’ll just slow me down. Can’t do jobs if I’m fucking high as a kite.”

And Johnny said nothing. He couldn’t say anything. Silent in the corner of the room, watching as he was helpless to stop anything, it would have been disingenuous to say she should slow the take over, mute him for the time being so that she could buy time for both of them. It would have been a lie, to say he wanted her to do so. Over time in her body he had become less selfish, taking on her giving nature, but this was one time where that side of him reared its ugly head, screaming at him to keep her here with him. He loved her so much, a short time in the head of a woman that was different yet so familiar, her soul naked and spread for him each day, but maybe it wasn’t enough to sacrifice himself. Not yet. 

For now, he just wanted to be with her, no matter the cost to both of them.

Then again, that might have also been her influence. A line drawn in the sand that both of them ignored. Her brain was his brain now, and while she still maintained her personality, and him his own, there was some overlap, and the desire to not take the medication was so strong, who knew which it came from. 

Mutually assured destruction indeed. 

Not that either of them formed healthy relationships in the past, either, but there was something about the life or death nature of it all that brought out all those horrible tendencies. V’s trend towards self sacrifice and Johnny’s towards selfish taking. She gave it all and he took it in stride. 

Leaving the ripperdoc’s place was difficult for V. The Relic was certainly killing her now, and it was becoming so much more difficult to function. She looked sick and everyone knew. The worst was Panam, watching her fall to the floor and having to carry her body with them as they moved camp. Watching everyone around her see the slow decline was probably more painful than her brain melting away. In a strange tug-of-wag, she wanted so badly to stay with those she trusted, Vik certainly being one of them, just to be sure she fell on safe ground. On the other side of the rope was the desire to isolate, be with no one else but herself and Johnny, relish in the time they had left together. 

And Johnny was the one pulling that side of the rope as well, its will winning out entirely. Fear coursed through him as well, not wanting V to slip through his fingers like all those who had before him. Everything about her was precious to him, and like he had many times before as a child he wanted to stash it away. Keep her safe from all the things that would harm her. Excluding himself, who was arguably killing her the fastest and in the worst possible way. 

As V made it to her front door, she paused, leaning against the door before opening it. Her body was so fucking tired all the time, even the thought of having to walk the extra few steps to her bed was exhausting. Johnny’s arms wrapped around her waist, his head dipping down to rest on the back of her neck. 

“Come on, choom. Get to the bed. You got this.” He hoped to hell his words would encourage her, and they did. V felt herself revitalized slightly, enough so where she could open her door, kick off her shoes, strip down from her gear, change into her night clothes, and lie down on the bed. Her body collapsed on the bed, above the covers, position turned towards the wall of the nook. She always left enough space in the bed for Johnny to lie with her, even though he could reasonably fit in any space. 

Feeling her call out to him, her body screaming for his touch. Where her consciousness ended his began, and just as he craved nicotine she craved him. As badly as she craved a peaceful life he craved her. 

She fit against him so perfectly, his arms snaking around her, one arm under the dip in her waist, the other over her hips. She shivered at the sensation of his metal arm, causing her to snuggle in deeper. His body, a construct from her brain, was so warm. V often wondered if it was similar to stories she heard as a child, of monks who willed their body to stay warm in the snow, to feed off phantom food, all because the mind was so strong. Only a shroud to cover their bodies in the freezing snow. Johnny was certainly her shroud. A hug that drugged her, kisses that put her a coma, safe from the pain that the world inflicted.

“Hey,” her voice was rough and tired, “thank you for bein’ here with me Johnny. I don’t think I’d be able to cope with everything if...If I was alone. Or if you were silent...” The idea of dying alone was so much more terrifying than it used to be. Now that she had become used to having Johnny there 24/7, not wanting to part from having a soul so close to hers. Not after seeing Johnny die alone. 

Arms constricted around her, and Johnny hummed, kissing the exposed skin of her neck. An intrusive thought, he felt like in this position he could crush all the bones in her torso, her feeling so delicate and fragile now. He couldn’t, not really, for multiple reasons, but the main one was that she wasn’t delicate nor fragile. She was stronger than he was. But she allowed herself to present as soft and frail all for him. A gift to a man that could so easily abuse it.

“You’re doin’ bad, V? In a lot of pain?” He didn’t need to ask, really. He felt it. The anguish in her body and her mind. V tried to conceal it, she really did, but at times it became too heavy of a load to hold on her own. Atlas of her own world, and she wanted Johnny to become her Hercules, if only for a little while. 

“Kinda sucks, huh? Feelin’ it all? Didn’t know there were joints in my fucking collar bones until they started hurtin’.” Both she and Johnny felt herself slipping, mentally curling in on herself to try and alleviate the pain. That was something Johnny could help. He knew her body so well, almost better than he knew his own, the female body so different than his. So much more receptive to things. One small touch in the right places could switch her brain from feeling pain to pleasure, synapses overriding themselves. 

“Want my help? I’ll do anything,” fingers slipped below the hem of her shirt, rubbing the soft skin there, his lips still kissing her neck, all of which made her shiver. She knew he’d do anything for her, alone at least, and all she wanted was something simple. 

“Make love to me, Johnny.” When she suggested that, Johnny knew she wanted it tender and slow. V loved when Johnny broke down his walls, poured his heart out, and he was more free to do so when he was pleasuring her. Thinking of her and her alone in those moments. 

“Anything.” The hand previously resting on her hip ran up her torso, palming at her breast. He wasn’t going to waste time, V didn’t want him to, she wanted to be loved not teased. Cold metal brushed her nipple, making her gasp and keen. Lips moved from her neck to her ear, whispering sweet nothings that sweetened the deal. 

“You’re so beautiful, V. My own Galatea.” His other hand dipped into her sleep shorts, past her underwear, playing in the folds between her thighs. V loved when he rubbed down there, even if he wasn’t focusing on her clit, just loving the feeling of his flesh mingling with hers in whatever way possible. He could mold her in whatever way he wanted, all he need is ask. And he never did. He may take more than he should at times, emotionally speaking, but her body was a temple. A holy relic to prayed over, a piece of art to be admired, and he treated it as such. 

At least he did in these moments.

Fingers dipped inside, only to the second knuckle due to the angle, and the noise V let out was divine. Johnny and V could feel her body being overtaken with pleasure over pain, everything but what Johnny was doing to her dulled to a low ache while the butterflies in her stomach spread to the far corners of her body. His palm pressed to her core and she rubbed against it, mouth falling open as to not hinder the noises that left her throat. For his own part, Johnny kept up his lazy kisses, slow fingers, not prolonging anything, but still wanting to draw out her pleasure. 

His love was so much better than any pain killers Vik could offer. 

All she needed was Johnny.

“I need these off, V.” His own form glitched out and back into existence, fully naked. Helping him out, V shimmied out of her shorts, tossing them to the edge of the bed. Johnny’s fingers left her, a small whine escaping as she was left empty. Though this was not for long, Johnny pushing his cock between her thighs, rubbing it against the wetness of her lips. Soaking it before plunging into that sweet heat.

This position, her back to his chest, forced Johnny’s hands to be preoccupied, one holding a leg up while he fucked into her, the other holding her to him so that she couldn’t squirm away. V loved this feeling, the act of being held so tenderly, feeling Johnny inside and around her, his mind whispering things to her that his mouth cannot verbalize, her own returning the favor. One thought came in louder, clearer, than the rest. Sex like this never lasted long, Johnny spilling in her sooner than he’d like, having to play with her clit until she climaxed. Bodies never separated, only basked in the afterglow to start again soon once they rested.

“I love you so much” played on repeat, both players never in need of saying the words aloud to each other. They felt it with every fiber of their being. So tangled together than they really could never be separated. 

The world was too small for both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternatively, Tiamat's song "Do you Dream of Me?" is also a good fit for these two. If not careful, I can see V and Johnny slipping into this unhealthy relationship, so dependent upon the other than the MAD meter in the game goes past 100%. But I also feel like they do love each other so desperately. That's just my thought, anyway.


	5. Sex with a Ghost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on: Sex with a Ghost - Teddy Hyde (very loosely, though. Mostly for the title and idea of having sex with the memory of someone). 
> 
> Contents: semi-public sex, mirror sex, reverse cowgirl, a very disappointed Rogue.

V had to wait for the client to show. It was pretty typical in her job to have to sit and wait at times, though she always made sure she wasn’t sitting for too long. Boredom didn’t suit her well, and so she made it a goal of hers to arrive early, but not too early. Her holo could only provide so much entertainment, really, and she couldn’t very well shut off her mind and space out, needing to watch out for whomever hired her. 

But, if boredom didn’t suit her, it certainly didn’t suit fucking Johnny. 

At first, it was just snappy comments and the desire to get up and move, doing something while she waited. If V was in a bar, she ended up getting a drink. If V was on the streets, she people watched, talking with the odd character that walked by. Things she never did before Johnny. Didn’t matter much to V; the actions were harmless and sometimes fun. Once, she met a guy who got enough prosthetics to look like Johnny himself, and the two of them made a game of punking the guy, asking details about Johnny’s life only the real Johnny would know. Well, real Johnny and his host. Pretty funny, all things considered. Even got a tale about some old celebrity named Elvis, where Johnny explained people pretended to be the guy for years after his death. 

Then, that fateful night happened. One where desire and lust took root in both their minds, culminating in the start of sexual relationship. Mind blowing sex was the greatest perk of all of this, but there was a major downside. V could not do anything that resulted in Johnny getting bored anymore. 

That man was so horny all the damn time. He often complained about her hormones, messing with his head in ways he didn’t understand, but clearly they didn’t damper him enough. Previously, she never really had a super high sex drive, mostly due to the stress of her life choices. Now? Johnny probably hijacked that one specific system on purpose because now she was horny all the time. 

But like her resistance to smoking, she played like she was resisting his advances. Most of the time when Johnny got bored they were at home, a place safe when he decided to start groping her and doing his best to convince her to accept his advances (which, she always did, even before he started begging). Up until now, she did a good job of entertaining him in public, taking him on walks and shit like a dog. It hindered the inevitable, just staving him off long enough to make it home. Once, it was the car, but that was fine too. 

The message that said that the client would be an hour late, though, was the final nail in the coffin for this particular day. Biting her lip, she hoped that maybe that little detail slipped through Johnny’s awareness, hidden in a place far from him. Alas, she was never that lucky in life. 

“Shit, really? We gotta wait an hour in this shitty little club. Fuckin’ preem,” she could feel his eyes rolling just from the tone of his voice. Looking over to where he materialized, she saw him pacing already, surveying the surroundings. That glint in is eye was so familiar, and so was that little smirk. 

“Nuh-uh, you’re not fuckin’ doing this here. No way! I’m sick of your shit, and I don’t need it while I’m on the clock. I need a damn break from you, holy shit.” She was already mentally waning, not sure if she even wanted to put up a fight. But V had a reputation to uphold, and this jackass wasn’t going to ruin it because his loins were constantly aflame. 

Johnny paced over to where she sat in an open booth, arms on either side of her head. She glared back, but if an onlooker saw her they’d just assume she was squinting rather harshly at the neon sign above the bar. “Ya know, I wasn’t planning on doing shit, but it kinda hurts you think I was. Guess I ain’t got a choice now, huh?” 

“Johnny,” she whispered his name aloud, making damn sure he heard it before she switched back to speaking from her mind. “There are a few problems I see here that maybe you’re too fuckin’ stupid to. Lemme ask you this: what club are we in, ya gonk?” 

Johnny looked around, acting like he damn well didn’t know. “Shit, V. Looks unfamiliar. Remind me again?” 

She scoffed, rolling her eyes. “We’re in the Afterlife. Ya know, the club run by your ex-girlfriend. The one who set up this job, Johnny! And I dunno about you – wait, actually I do – but I refuse to fuckin’ ruin my relationship with her. She’s givin’ me the best jobs in the city because she feels she owes you. Owes me. Can you not fuck this up because you wanna --”

“Fuck this up by fuckin’ you? No dice. We got an hour to kill, and all I got on my mind is your sweet puss --” 

“Claire!” V shot up from where she was sitting, walking right through Johnny. “I, uh...I need to see Rogue. ‘Bout a client.” Claire nodded, smiling at the merc. 

“Not a problem there, V. She’s in her office upstairs. Ever been up there?” She leaned over the bar, still looking at V with soft eyes. In another world, another time, she’d be all about her. But that’s not this world, and the guy that’s all about V is holding onto her hips, squeezing them. Smug bastard relishing in the fact he’s got her riled up enough to go poke the bear that is Rogue. 

“Actually, I haven’t. Didn’t even know she had one. Always see her loungin’ on the couch. Suppose a professional establishment has to have one though.” Johnny stuck his hand in her back pocket, firmly gripping all the flesh he could, V shifting her hips around to lessen the hold. Didn’t work, and her cheeks flushed a tad at the action. 

“You alright there, V? Lookin’ a little off. Need a drink to calm your nerves?” Perceptive as ever, Claire had already begun making her a drink, sliding it over the bar. “On the house, don’t even think of payin’. Just down it and go see Rogue.” 

V nodded, holding up the glass before funneling it down her throat, knowing damn well she would need it. Hauling ass up the stairs in the back, she found Rogue’s office, knocking on the door, trying not to sound to hasty. 

“Rogue! It’s me, V! Lemme in?” Her question was answered with the door unlocking, allowing her to enter. Looking around, the office was pretty swanky, a nice couch catching her eye mostly because Johnny sat with his legs open, bottom lip between his teeth. Any other time, V hated being looked at like a piece of meat. But right now? 

“Client,” V cleared her throat, voice a little crackly from thinking about Johnny, “client messaged me sayin’ they’d be late, and that they want to talk here, but in private. Any place I can stick myself and wait for them? That’s...private.” Fuck, she was going to be caught. Not like she was dealing with someone who was a stranger to Johnny and his ways. Probably did the same to her back in the day on more than one occasion.

Rogue was not amused in the slightest. “Really? Client said that? I can imagine they’d be late, but needing privacy? Hmmm. Say, Johnny with you or did you shut him up for the day?” In the background Johnny laughed, scratching his junk. He did not care one bit that V was going to have to out herself potentially. 

“Aww, V, not like Rogue can throw a stone from a glass house. She don’t own one! Just tell her the truth so I can get to work.” That request of his was certainly not going to fly, and V nodded her head to Rogue. 

“Yup. Caged in for the day so I can focus on work. Unlike him, I gotta eat and pay rent. So, a private room?” The older woman’s eyes flicked to the couch, almost like she knew Johnny was seated there, making lewd gestures behind V’s back. You might be able to take the rocker off stage, but you’d never take the rocker out of the man. 

“Uh-huh. Sure ya did. But, I can’t prove you’re lying, unfortunately, so I’ll let it slide. Just. This. Once.” Annunciating every word, it was more directed at Johnny than her. “Use my office. The Afterlife doesn’t have private rooms, mostly to avoid this place turning into a god damn doll house. Text that client to meet you up here, and don’t wreck my shit. I paid good money to furnish this place.” 

Hearing this, Johnny threw his head back in cheer, letting out a sound that landed somewhere between a laugh and a holler, tailed by a rather loud “fuck yeah!” like he had just won some prestigious award. And maybe in his head he had, getting Rogue to leave them alone so he could eat up some time with his favorite person. 

“What? Me? Nah, if the client gets too rowdy I’ll take it outside. Not gonna treat this place like the No-Tell Motel.” Rogue seemed unconvinced by V’s reassurance, and V could hardly blame her. The two left in here were most certainly going to treat this place like a shady motel. 

“You know, I’m not really worried about the client. Don’t let me down, V. Johnny is a horrible influence on a young mind.” Her warning was the last thing V heard before she closed the door, feeling rather guilty that she was about to break the thin ice she was on with the fixer. All for the horny man in her brain. Sending a quick text to the client to let them know where she would be, she turned to her partner.

“Johnny, fuck you. I --”

“Fuck me? Thought the plan was for me to fuck you. Lookin’ at this room, I think I’ll have to take a rain check on your offer. Got somethin’ in mind for us, sweetheart.” Following Johnny’s gaze, V that opposite the couch was a mirror, one that could be moved. That “oh no” feeling dug itself into her skin, knowing Johnny was freaky enough to want to fuck her in front of a mirror. 

“You really that vain? Can you even see your own reflection?” But, there she was, pushing the mirror closer to them, like she knew she would eventually be coerced into doing. 

“Ain’t about me, princess. I want you to see what I see while you’re bouncing on my cock. Such a damn beautiful sight. Could write a million songs about that shit.” V wanted to feel exasperated at his shit, but she couldn’t. Something about hearing that he’d write songs about her was endearing enough to earn him a willing participant. Walking over to him, she already started stripping off her clothes, leaving her in just her undergarments. “Where do you want me?” Johnny, glitching out and then back in, clothed in just his pants, patted his thighs. “C’mere.” 

Climbing up on the couch, V sat down on his lap facing him, her arms draped around his shoulders. His gaze was behind her, grinning like a kid on Christmas. “Hey, raise up on your knees. Need to see that preem ass in full view.” V did as she was told, eyes fluttering closed as Johnny ran a cold finger down her back and over the curve of her ass. She knew he found her attractive, always reminding her each day, but there was something about this that made it seem more real; more erotic. 

“Take this off, will ya? Don’t even know why you kept it on.” He tapped the space where her bra was, tracing circles in the skin, raising goosebumps as he did. V complied, throwing it in the same pile as her other clothes. As soon as they were exposed, her breasts didn’t remain uncovered for long, one covered by Johnny’s mouth, the other by his hand. Musicians were talented with their fingers and mouths, creating things that could change the world. Lovers could hold the world in their palms, creating contradictory sensations across the body, turning it malleable. Johnny was a musician and a lover in tandem, playing her body like a guitar. Even if it was just his teeth nipping softly at the bud in his mouth only to stroke his tongue over it, or his fingers rolling its twin between them, it was done with such precise skill that V had to struggle to remain quiet, soft noises only for Johnny to hear. Maybe everything was heightened by the fact this was somewhere semi-public, where people could walk in at any moment, or the fact there was a mirror behind her that she would be forced to face soon enough. 

That time had come, Johnny leaving his place buried in her chest, pulling her down into a kiss. His hands gripped hers, guiding them to take off her panties, feeling as she slid her fingers over her ass again, always eager to get handsy with it. Once V lifted her legs to get the garment off completely, Johnny used her instability to get her to turn around, guiding her to sit down against his body that shifted to lean back more, giving her ample room to sit. 

“Look at that, V. So fuckin’ turned on.” Heat creeped up her skin as she looked at herself. She already looked a little messy, flushed skin and puffy nipples, but she knew she’d be wrecked soon. Behind her was a ghost, his image fainter than normal, almost like her brain was willing his image to be there. A mirage that only she could see. 

“Play with yourself for me, will ya?” His request seemed odd, always preferring to be the one who touched her and made her shake. Possessiveness over a body he inhabited. Then again, thanks to their predicament, if she played with herself, he’d feel it too. 

“Why should I? Isn’t that your job?” She hooked an arm behind her to hold on to Johnny, pressing it behind his neck to keep her from slipping off his lap. 

“Wanna see you make a mess of yourself, princess. Show you what I see, remember?” His voice was kept in that husky baritone, whispering in her ear before kissing behind it. “Want those pretty eyes on that mirror, yeah? Can ya do that?” 

She nodded, not breaking eye contact with the mirror. Her hands, shaking slightly, ran down her torso, fingers caressing the skin below her bellybutton, building up for when she dived in. Impatient as always, Johnny’s own hand placed itself over her own, guiding her down further. “Not much time for that, princess. Wanna see the show.” Her own fingers brushed her clit, sucking in a breath she went to work, head leaning back slightly to rest against Johnny, eyes never leaving the mirror. She watched as her own fingers played with herself, pleasuring herself in ways only she and Johnny knew how to do. How fortuitous it was to have someone inside her in the most literal sense, to feel what she felt. Right now, she could see herself through lidded eyes, lips parted, sweat forming on her skin, but she could also see Johnny, holding up one of her legs, giving them both a better view. He was painfully hard in his pants, bottom lip worried between teeth, peering between her legs. 

“Put these fingers inside,” V did as she was told, dipping two in to the first knuckle, slowly until they were buried in her to the final knuckle, spurred on by Johnny muttering “deeper, deeper” at each joint of her fingers. Curling up, she teased her g-spot, palm pressing to her clit. She wasn’t aiming to orgasm, knowing that wasn’t the goal here, but she worked herself up enough to be a panting mess, just as Johnny wanted. Juices coated her fingers and Johnny’s pants, slick fluid shining in the lights of the private office. 

“Johnny – I’m – ahhh,” that was his only warning, allowing him to know that she was close. And as she predicted, Johnny removed her hand from her sex, bringing it to her mouth. 

“Clean up your mess while I get my pants off.” The command was almost comical, both of them knowing he just will his pants away, but V wasn’t in the mood to joke around, putting her fingers in her mouth. Licking and sucking them clean, she smirked at her reflection, watching as Johnny blinked back into existence in the same state she was. 

“Like the taste?” His strong hands lifted her up, V using her own hand to line his cock to her entrance, swirling it to coat. Groaning, Johnny pushed her hips down, guiding her to sink down. “Like ambrosia,” was what he whispered before his own choked noises stopped him, V sinking down until she was filled with him. 

In the mirror, V watched as she fucked him, bouncing up and down on him, the couch creaking slightly from the impact. Like a switch, she wanted to go rough and hard, loving the sight of her body being raised and lowered, strong arms holding onto her waist in a vice grip. For his own part, Johnny had his face on her shoulder, abusing their height difference to watch the show as well. It probably wasn’t comfortable, but he needed to be sure that V had her eyes on that mirror, watching herself come undone. 

From the teasing earlier, their imposed time limit, and the sheer overload of watching herself get fucked, V came, shattering back as she rode out her orgasm against Johnny. Hot lightning through her body that was only quenched with Johnny’s release as well, biting into her shoulder to muffle noises no one else could hear. Seated back for a while, she let Johnny hold her, loving praise in her ear as he spoke, the only time she heard him be sweet to her. 

Getting dressed, she glared at Johnny, still pretty pissed he made her basically admit to Rogue what they were going to do, all because she didn’t want her pants around her ankles in plain view of the public. For his part, he reminded her of every smug cat she had ever seen, pretending his transgressions were just going to be forgiven as soon as he flashed his most perfect grin. 

And, fuck. He was right. Smug son of a bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rogue, sweetie, I am so sorry I'm doing you dirty. But if anyone is going to be aware of the shit Johnny does, it is certainly her.


	6. Going Under

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on: Going Under - Evanescence 
> 
> Contents: toxic relationships, cheating, wall sex, gaslighting, it's a toxic waste dump, please read with caution.

Give him the reigns, just this once. He promised, with sincerity in his voice, he wouldn’t fuck around. All he needed to do was talk to Rogue. V trusted him, because of course she would. He had just pulled her into a shitty motel, opened up about his past in that very room, gave her the tags of a man who died for him. Worse, she was giving up everything for him, his siren song of promise and devotion. Let him have everything he could ask for, including her body in so many ways. 

Johnny wanted to talk to Rogue, nothing else, and that could be arranged. A pill taken outside the Afterlife, right where Rogue was. She was right there. Right. There. 

Bits and pieces from the night came back to her as she was hurling on the floor, Rogue having long left her to suffer alone. Sure, she and Johnny spoke that night, but that’s not all he did. By a long shot. And here V was, taking the fall for his shit over and over again. Head pounding, blood in her mouth mixing with the vile concoction of bile, nicotine, tequila, and other poisons. Her nose hurt, her mouth tingled. Something didn’t feel right, outside of the normal hangover and Relic malfunctions. Bringing her hand to her face, she smelled a familiar stench, flashing back to Johnny’s actions inside some stolen car. 

Fucking God. What did she do to deserve this misery? 

Shoulda known, she thought to herself. Not like she couldn’t see all the times Johnny cheated on his partners. Every single one. What would make her any different? Sure, he wasn’t even able to leave her side, but he’d find a way. He always found a way. It hurt like nothing else, worse than the other times she’d been cheated on, mostly because the two dying souls shared so much of themselves with the other. Vulnerable, deathly raw, late night conversations that made her insides bleed and fester with the desire to help him. Allow him to help her as well. 

So much for that. 

Finally, when he decided to show his ugly mug, she was livid. She blamed him, cursed him, said he should be in her place, puking up the night’s mistakes, reeling from the shame of going under and sinking from the pain and betrayal. Horrid, miserable sobs escaped her, stumbling up to where Johnny lounged on the table. Gripping his vest, she pulled him closer to her, face to face. 

“What the fuck is your problem!? I thought we had something! What the fuck was the past week, huh!? You gonna just ignore the shit we’ve been through!? What the fuck you do to me every fuckin’ night!?” V didn’t much care if she was screaming aloud, this motel echoing with the fights of other couples. Her screams would just add to the cacophony. 

The audacity of him to laugh at her. Shrug it off like he didn’t do anything wrong. Probably believed that lie. “Who said the shit between us meant anything? What makes you more special than any other readily available piece of ass, huh? Fuckin’ nothin’, that’s what.”

“You did, Johnny! You said there was something between us! Was it all a fuckin’ lie!? Did you lie straight to my face!? Huh!? Did you!?” It wasn’t like he could deny any of what happened between them in earnest. Not like he could gaslight her like he did his past lovers. Nah, couldn’t happen here. Because she could read his thoughts and he could read hers. Nowhere to run for either of them. 

Doesn’t mean he wouldn’t try. Conceal whatever lie deep within. 

“Sorry, darlin’, guess I fuckin’ did. And you wanted to fuck me so bad it made you look stupid. Stupid enough to get fooled by a guy you saw ruin everything around him. How’s that make you feel?” He didn’t need to ask. V’s pain was his pain. 

More sobs left her, and all she could do was crumble to the floor, knees bent beneath her, arms hugging her close. He was right. She was stupid enough to believe his shitty lies. Wanted to fuck him so bad, smudge away the loneliness so badly, all in the arms of a ticking time bomb. What’s worse, when he felt bad about hurting her, when he crouched down on the floor beside her, explaining himself away, she forgave him. Forgave it all. If only because she knew a sad truth about him. 

Johnny Silverhand was the worst kind of human being. A person whose terrible actions and villainous pursuits ruined lives permanently. Whose words could change a generation of people, urging them into action against a cause that was so utterly personal that those carrying out his actions didn’t really understand them. Because at his core, Johnny had wonderful ideals, covered in the layer of shit that was his morals. He didn’t care if he hurt those around him in order to get what he wanted. A selfish bastard that was capable of loving too harshly. Rubbing the skin of it raw, if only for the reason that his love was special and needed to be earned. If people thought V had left a string of bodies behind, they didn’t realize the one with a higher count lived inside her head. 

A truth that if Johnny deigned to give his love to a person or cause, it was an undying flame, strong enough to burn down the city. The world. And leave the one who was its vessel decomposed. Drowned in the water used to douse the flames. 

V didn’t know what was real anymore, everything mingling too much in her strung out brain. Relic or no Relic, if she had met Johnny back in the 2000’s she would have fallen for him too. Allowed him back then, like now, to throw her against the wall, press himself balls deep inside her, fuck her a little too roughly, mind lost in the haze of being near a star that burned too bright. 

“Johnny, I know you lied to me.” V’s pillowtalk was never as sexy as Johnny’s, but it was one way to speak her mind. His angle pressed the sweet spot inside her, gooey pleasure filling her up. “Lied about not caring ‘bout me. Tryin’ to sleep with that stripper just to avoid lovin’ me.” 

His pace picked up, body pressing her into the wall so fiercely that he didn’t need to hold her up. Caressing her cheek with one hand, he pressed their foreheads together, looking deep into her eyes. “Fuck you, V. Can’t change me.” 

“Ain’t trying to,” she kissed his lips, wet and passionate, “just know what’s inside. Can’t hide it from me. Stop tryin’.” 

The women in her life always said to never try and change a man. It was a dangerous game, one that only lead to heartache and life long trauma. But, there was always one thing people forgot about V. 

She loved to play with fire and get close enough to get burned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I'm writing something tender and sweet next aksjdklsdjfkdslf. Toxic Johnny is probably the most accurate to his character, but I also figure later on he'd be a tender sap of a man. It's my fiction and I'll do what I feel is correct.


	7. Dinner and Diatribes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on: Dinner and Diatribes - Hozier 
> 
> Contents: this is the forbidden Johnny pegging fic, so it contains pegging and anal play
> 
> Someone said in a comment on another fic of mine that they could see V pegging Johnny, and I have not known peace since.

Johnny was in some kind of mood. Rare was the day he sat back, pretended to be a pillow princess, making V do all the work. Quite the honor, really, being able to explore his body in a way that few ever really got the pleasure of doing. A level of trust that even fewer were rewarded with, and V was able to reap the rewards. 

On his back, hands behind his head, cocky as fuck smirk plastered on his face, V was slotted between his legs, kissing his neck, one hand wrapped around the strap-on and his cock, the other with three fingers deep inside him, both hands slick and covered in the most expensive lube eddies could buy. It wasn’t their usual method of fucking, but damn did V love doing this. A challenge presented only to her, and how exhilarating it was. Her body hovered slightly over him, enough to where their matching dog tags clinked each time she moved either wrist. 

“Are you ready to be fucked, Johnny? Better than what you give me?” Her voice, low, had a similar quality to his whenever he asked her the same question, understanding now the absolute power he held in his hands when he was on top. Not like he was being submissive now, anyway. 

“Oh, V. You really think you can fuck me anywhere near the same as I fuck you? Please, princess. I’d love to see that.”

Fingers curled up, wrist twisting over him, his composure faltered if only a moment, a low groan rumbling through his chest. Pulling said fingers out, she rubbed them off on the nearby towel, its sole purpose to keep the lube contained. Body pulled back, V looked down at her work, biting her lip at the sight. Slicking up the attachment, V lined it up to him, looking him in the eyes as she worked it in, painfully slow. Breaths low and deep, she might have been more turned on than him doing this. 

Pulling it back out a little, she angled differently for initial comfort, annoyed groan coming from him. Her own smirk now on her face, she pulled out again, hand running up and down his torso feather light. “Awww, you want it in you that bad? C’mon Johnny, gotta work you up.”

Johnny must have been growing impatient, never one who liked to be teased, a hand reaching out to grip V’s tags, dragging her body forward, close to his face. “Stick. It. In.” The smirk never left his face, a speechless V obliging him, but not being chiding him, stating the obvious. “You’re such a whiny bitch when we do this,” base of the strap-on rubbing against her, she let out a whimper at the end of her sentence, moving her hips to ease back into him. 

“Thought you said you were gonna fuck me like I fuck you? Don’t ever think I go that fuckin’ slow.” A misconception, for sure, but V wasn’t going to argue with him. Her own hands gripping his well toned hips, she picked up the pace, watching as his cock bobbed up and down from her fucking into him. Now his face changed, eyes fully blown, smirk falling as he let out struggled breaths. 

“That’s much better.” Response in a lower tone than normal, head thrown back, V picked up her pace, letting out her own noises as she thrust into him. All he did was allow her into him, sitting back and staying completely still, occasionally peering down at her. Leg thrown over her shoulder, she got at a better angle, finally hitting him where it made him cry out, V’s own cried matching in return. 

“Holy – shit, J-Johnny!” she wasn’t used to being the one fucking, sweat clinging to her body as she moved, trying hard to match the intensity with which he pounded into her. Her body, lithe and small, was made for quick work. Short bursts of speed and occasional punches here and there. His body was a powerhouse, built for stamina. Somehow, even now, that worked to their favor, Johnny losing grip fast, her body able to move into positions that made him shake. 

“That’s what I want, V. Fuck me like you mean it!” Finally moving his hands, he gripped her hips, helping her slam into him. It always ended like this, Johnny helping out when V started to lose steam as she was getting close, the repeated stimulation and sight of Johnny flushed and almost begging. Using the last of what she had in her, she ground into him with ferocious intensity, trying to hard to go as hard and fast as he wanted. 

Unraveling first, V came with a scream, shuddering and cashing her orgasm with lazy thrusts, white hot pleasure ripping through her as Johnny kept pulling her into him. One hand left her hip the other gripped himself, stroking to completion, spilling on his abdomen. Work done, V crashed down on him, not caring if the stick fluid got all over her. Rolling a little, the toy slipped from him, V discarding the harness beside them on the towel. 

Usually, she was the one in need of a little tender love and care, but it was her turn to pamper Johnny, light kisses to his face and shoulder, a parting gift as she went to get a warm towel to clean them both off. Toys taken care of as well, she crawled back into the bed, curling up into him, continuing her light kisses and tender holds.

“I disappoint?” V had her face in his neck, hearing his chuckle rumble through him. 

“Certainly nothin’ that I give, but I gotta say, never had this after I’ve been fucked, so I’ll let it slide.” Content with the answer, V pulled him just a little closer, bodies melting into the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This thing is ALMOST a paltry 1,000 words, and yet it took me a while to write because like this was so self indulgent for me. I feel so lucky to be able to provide real Johnny pegging hours adjsajldadsklj
> 
> Also, unsure of where I saw the Dinner and Diatribes pegging joke, but I know it exists and therefore I have not been able to listen to that song without thinking of it.


	8. God is a Woman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on: God is a Woman - Ariana Grande
> 
> Contents: window sex, choking, praise

Who owns Night City? Corporations? Legends? Fixers with too much pull? Certainly not the local government, and certainly not its people. Overlooking it now, the uncovered windows allowing the neon skyline to shine, nightfall making the city shine brighter, Johnny knew for a night he was its master – feeling like the city was bowing down before him. 

Taking a night for themselves, spending eddies on something other than on frivolous goods, Johnny and V rented out a room on the top floor of one of the nicer hotels in the city. Champagne poured, holding out as long as they could, the tension broke, almost every surface of that room desecrated, V’s body thrown against it, or Johnny using it to prop himself up on while he worked. 

Sex was art. Sex was power. Sex was ethereal. Sex with V was transcendent. Omniscient in the ways he played with her body, knowing her from the inside out, even if he had his own body now. V herself had showed that Night City was not match for her, not even the most powerful people in the world able to bring her to her knees. Only Johnny could do that, and she bent willingly. And if sex with her was all those things, it should be shared, displayed, making Johnny Night City’s most almighty person. 

Back pressed to the glass, V’s hands slammed down against it to keep her steady, legs wrapped around his waist. Strong arms kept her from hitting the floor, the slap of skin on skin vibrating the glass behind her. Face buried in her neck, Johnny added to the ever present marks that marred her – showed who loved her. Breath hot in her ear, he whispered to her, sending every praise he could ever think of towards her. “Want Night City to see the most beautiful woman in existence. Pressed against me, screamin’ my fuckin’ name.” And she was, his name interspersed by load moans, keening against him as he railed into her, that perfect angle he’s sure is stored in his muscle memory by now. “Look so damn beautiful, doll. Aphrodite would be jealous.” 

Positions changed, Johnny had her on her feet, facing the window. Breasts pressed against the glass, arms above her head, V threw her head back, screaming as Johnny slammed into her from behind, one arm snaking up her torso to hold her up, then settling around her neck, choking her lightly, the other playing with her likely overstimulated clit. How long had they been at it? Johnny was sure he had gone more than three rounds, and somehow he was never satiated. “Pussy takes me so fuckin’ well – sound so fuckin’ gorgeous. Tell Night City who fucks you so good.” 

“Johnny!” Her voice was octaves higher than it should be, so desperate for release. He could feel it in the way she pulsed over his cock, hands straining against the glass that separated them from the city. “Louder, V!” 

“Johnny!” Voice louder still, almost screaming his name into that good night, no peace to be had for them. Body exposed to any passerby, flying cars taking the scenic route, transports of people watching as Johnny was on top of the world. Circling her clit, hand squeezing her neck harder, she was coming undone so quickly, assemblage so willing to give out its pleasure. 

Orgasm spreading through V, her fingers curled against the glass, head pressing into it as well, screaming his name one final time. Chasing his own release, he thrust into her so powerfully, pressed as much of her body as her could against that pane, spilling into her with a loud groan. Coming down from the high, Johnny released her neck, holding her body against him, still sheathed inside her, growing harder by the reflection of her spent form in the glass. Imprints of her skin in it, Johnny just smirked, knowing well the maids would know what happened there. 

Kisses planted behind her ear, trailed down her jaw, hands rolling up her body again, groping her breasts, V let out a small chuckle before it was cut off by a moan. “Again, Johnny? Gonna keep up against that window?” 

“And who’s the freak outta the two of us, huh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this in a haze after a convo with beammeupbroadway, the brain worms taking over ksjfklsjdf.


	9. Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on: Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too by Say Anything 
> 
> Contents: holo sex, gratuitous use of "good girl" and "princess", masturbation
> 
> Set up for this one is V is a hotel room, Johnny just got done playing a gig, that's all that needs knowing

Risky, but what between them wasn’t? People would definitely hear what V had planned. 

Hotel room, people on both sides of the wall, dead quiet in the city for once, and V rang Johnny. Dressed only in his jacket, his tags, and her panties, she knew he’d get the memo as soon as he picked up. Didn’t care where he was, he would run to a secluded spot the moment he saw her. 

“Hey princess, I’m at the after party for a gig. Sure you’re callin’ cause your gig is done. How’s the thing with --” Wink thrown his way over the screen, and she knew he picked up the message. “Fuck. Call you back in a minute.” 

Holo hung up, V giggled, playing with the tags as she waited for the call back. Ten minutes later, Johnny’s name appeared on her holo, and she answered after a couple of rings, just to make sure to be a tease. “Finally alone, handsome?” Still playing with the tags, smirk on her lips, front of the jacket covering her, she watched Johnny as his eyes scanned the screen, looking over as much of her as he could. 

“Don’t have much time, so don’t waste it. Strip.” Face wiped of her smirk, Johnny stealing it for himself, V nodded. Command given, his good girl always followed her orders. Frantic, she tried to strip herself of the jacket, but Johnny stopped her. “Slowly, princess. Don’t got a lot of it, but I have time to watch.” Nodding, V slowly removed the jacket, already peeled open, but she let him watch as she gently slid it down her shoulder. “What a good girl. Lemme ask – you wear one of my shirts today?” 

“’Course I did.” His satisfactory hum, the way he rubbed his jaw, and V bit her lip, knowing he was pleased. “Even smelled like you, which was nice.” A low hiss, and she could see him move his organic arm down, likely unzipping his pants. Jacket completely off, V set the holo on the dresser in front of her, on her knees on the bed, full view for him. “Tell me what you want me to do, handsome.” 

“Fuck, darlin’. Play with those nova tits o’ yours while I find a place to put the holo down so I can watch. Make sure you moan like some cheap joytoy – wanna enjoy this.” Rolling her eyes, not exactly the sexiest thing he could tell her, but she wasn’t one to deny him what he wanted. Cupping under her breasts first, she ran her hands over them, palming while she waited for him to settle. Soft moans from her lips, she watched the screen, waiting for the movement to stop before she pinched her nipples. Still palming them, Johnny finally found a place to prop the holo and sit down, and V let out an even louder moan just from the sight of him rock hard, freed from his pants by his open fly. 

Free to get into it, V finally started to roll her nipples between her fingers, trying hard to maintain a poker face, but failing miserably when Johnny started to lazily stroke himself. Claim to an impressive cock ringing true, she loved the way it looked in his hand, hot and heavy there with the tip already leaking, his face plastered in a shit eating grin. Watching him, eyes half lidded, lip between her teeth, she kept playing with her tits until told to do something else. “Moan louder for me. Wanna make sure people know you’re bein’ dirty with your rockerboy.” Fuck him. Those words alone made her louder, definitely playing it up for him, but that was all a part of the show. A performance just for him. 

“That’s my good girl. Leave the tags, but I wanna see that preem pussy.” Thumbs hooked under the band of her panties, she slid them down then off, tossing them somewhere in the hotel room. “Good girl. Now lay back and spread your legs. Wanna watch you fuck yourself with your fingers.” Voice getting deeper, strokes getting less lazy and more steady, V knew what she was doing was working. 

Lying back on the bed, pillows propping her up so she could still watch the holo, she spread her legs, hearing the way his breathing increased, low groan escaping his throat. “Preem enough for you, rockerboy?” He nodded, eyes fixed on his holo screen. Knowing what she needed to do, she stuck two of her fingers in her mouth, sucking on them, watching as his eyes went wider and his strokes began getting faster. Spitting into his own hand, he kept watching her, and V coated her fingers well enough to take them out, dipping right between her legs. Circling her entrance, she stuck one finger in then two, moaning out as she curved them up, finding that bundle of nerves to stay focused on. 

“Mmm, that’s my good girl. Whose fingers fuck you better, princess?” She keened louder, other hand coming down to rub her clit, knowing she’d have to work fast. 

“Y-yours. Your fingers fuck me better.” Pace quick, she was already breathing heavy, and she could hear the wet sounds of his stroking over her noises. Eyes still lidded, she could barely make out the dark look in his eyes, the way he lifted his shirt up in preparation for when he came, watching her as she kept playing with herself. 

“Not good enough. Tell your hotel neighbors whose fingers fuck you better.” His voice was rough, and he was close too, serious about not being able to drag this out. 

“Johnny!” More a complaint than a call, but the way her fingers kept working herself up it came out as one. Moaning out his name as she pressed up inside and down on her clit. “Fuck! Johnny! ‘M gettin’ --” 

“You’re gonna scream my name when you come, princess. Pretend I’m there, fillin’ you, fuckin’ you hard. Makin’ sure everyone knows who you belong to. Wear my clothes – now they just need to hear you tell ‘em who fucks you. Who ruined you.” A louder groan at the end, hand staying still at the base, she could see him twitch, so close. Not that she was far off, tight coil forming in her stomach, wrists hurting from the way she had to play with herself, legs shaking wanting to close over her own arms, knowing well she had to keep them open. 

Head thrown back, toes curled in, “Johnny!” spilling from her lips over and over, the pressure unleashed, white hot and sickeningly sweet. Panting, she removed her fingers, sticking them in her mouth like she knows he likes, watching as he brought himself to completion. Same state she was in, she heard “V, fuck!” yelled out, ropes of cum painting his torso, some hitting him in the face. He dropped back, leaning against the couch he was on, catching his own breath. 

Feeling like she could move, V crawled over to her holo, taking it from where it was propped up, bringing it into the bed with her as she settled in. Little giggles, she heard Johnny curse, lamenting the fact he had to clean up. “Guess that’s the good thing about me, huh? Clean up’s pretty easy.” Head against the pillow, she watched him look around for anything to use, saying “fuck it” and using his shirt to clean up, throwing it in the trash can that was in the room. 

“Such a fuckin’ tease. Now look at me – gotta go back out there shirtless.” Rolling her eyes, V had little sympathy for that. 

“Oh no, what will those rabid fangirls do?” Sarcasm lacing her voice, she heard him click his teeth at her, all before sitting back down, smiling softly at her tired form. 

“Guessin’ you’re turnin’ in for the night?” V nodded, plan all along to get some quick holo action before she had to turn in for the night. “Sleep well my princess. You’re gonna need it, ‘cause when I get back, I’m gonna fuck you senseless.” 

“Mmm, I’m sure you will. Night handsome.” Holo hung up, V placed it on the little nightstand beside the bed, pulling the covers over her shoulders, settling into that lovely little sleep after a satisfying orgasm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IF I DIE AND GO TO HELL REAL SOON  
> IT WILL APPEAR TO ME AS THIS ROOM


End file.
